Saturday, May 30, 2009

The Passage of Time

So, having re-entered Santa Fe society this spring, I am finding it very interesting to note how time has effected all those with which I was once so familiar.

Having moved around a ridiculous amount as a young adult, it has been quite a while since I have really seen how time passing effects people. When you only stay somewhere for a year or two, you don't really see the impact the passage of time has on people's lives. You leave, and if you return briefly or if you hear from one of the people you left behind, you don't really delve into the depth and breadth with which their lives have been altered.

Now that I am back in the land of Entrapment, it is with crystal clarity that I see how the last 5 years have really effected the lives and daily routines of a community that, at one time, I was so intimately familiar with. Re-entering the city I have chosen to make my own, I see now that the years have taken their toll on those things which I once held so dear.

Not that all the changes have been bad, by any stretch of the imagination. However it fills me with wonder all the same. Everything from hair cuts to businesses closing somehow affects me at a personal level here. I feel intimately intertwined with the community in Santa Fe and so as I re-enter and my existence here re-gains the depths of my previous stay, I find all this change affecting me on a visceral level.

It is all quite bittersweet. Like parenting, you are excited for the growth, but miss those things that must be left behind in order to allow said growth to occur.

Every day now is an adventure, for who knows which person I will run into next who has changed dramatically?

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Oh teh noes!

After an absence of approximately 25 months, my monthly "friend" has decided to reappear. It explains so much! The homicidal tendencies, the freakishly ill-timed crying - such as, at this song:

I mean, it is kind of depressing, but for Pete's sake!

Suffice it to say, it is a relief that I have a biological explanation for my recent insanity. I thought it was entirely circumstantial...and if that had been the case, I would have to seriously reconsider almost everything about my life. Frankly, I have neither the energy or the resources to reevaluate at that level.

Aside from the sense of relief I feel currently, I also find it fascinating how something that was once so familiar seems so incredibly novel. It's almost like the first time all over again!

I mean, I've spent the whole week convinced that there was an entirely different explanation for my junk food cravings, my emotional outbursts, and my general hatred of the human race. In the past I would have stopped and considered..."ah, perhaps it is that time of the month!"

But not this time! Oh no, I was completely blindsided. Yay me....

So here I am, back to the monthly moodiness, pain, and general ick that is menstruation. Fabulous!

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Rain rain go away!

Omg it's so wet!

funny pictures of cats with captions
see more Lolcats and funny pictures

Our yard sale was rained out and the whole family is stuck inside. The only positive is that the garden is truly happy.

The barometric pressure makes me want to kill myself, however, so a happy garden is little consolation for a miserably depressed housewife. Now, if it were a happy garden, that would be different...

Sadly the large plants we are growing out back will produce only corn. And while I suppose you could smoke it, I wouldn't be willing to guarantee it would make you feel all woogy.

In addition to it being wet and cold and dreary, it is also Memorial Day weekend and I feel like I should be camping, or at least planning a picnic and drinking beer while getting a sunburn. Surely that sounds more festive than staring at the wall and wishing I could be asleep!

I will be blaming my hormones for the time being, although I suspect a short period of introspection would illuminate the true cause. Chances are I will still blame hormones.

It is my prerogative as a woman!

Monday, May 18, 2009

Meat? Really?

I don't really buy into the assertion that vegetarianism is good for you. Humans evolved to eat meat. And while we can survive without animal protein in our diet, we are generally healthier if we consume the occasional egg or steak.

Which is why I find it really hard to believe that the biggest impact we, as a species, can make on the environment is to stop eating animals.

Give me a break. You're telling me that eating meat is more polluting to our environment than driving around, flying an airplane, dumping pharmaceuticals in our water, power washing the driveway, and Monsanto? Why do I have such a hard time believing this is anything more than crazy vegan propaganda, designed to instill me with the same self-loathing that those poor, anemic, animal loving, tofu-eaters seem to be consumed by?

And I quote:

On of the most meaningful things we can do to arrest climate change is to change the way we eat. As discussed previously, and as hammered home by the head of the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change in recent lectures in London and Paris, the meat industry is one of the most devastating causes of global warming. And this is not just factory farming--some analysis indicates that smaller farms cause more warming. They're generally better for animal welfare, water pollution, and desertification, but they actually require more resources, and thus cause more greenhouse gas emissions.

We need government change: We need a shift away from the billions in annual subsidies for the meat industry, as discussed in a Union of Concerned Scientists report. We need more healthy vegetarian foods in schools and other government programs. We need education of the public about this very real cause for alarm and potential solutions. We need leaders who understand the issues and take them seriously. But we also need all of us to take personal charge of our lives, and to do what we can personally to decrease our support for climate change.

This implies that not only does my desire for chicken cause untold suffering, but also that even if I were to buy my hens from local farmers using free-range practices, I'd still be ruining the planet!

The author lumps in my craving for fowl with the destructive effects of large scale, South American cattle ranching!

And on another note:

...if the Earth is warmed by a mere 4 degrees Celsius, by the year 2099 the planet will become unrecognizable. We will have warm, acidic seas that will probably not sustain fish; many of the areas where food is grown and populations flourish will no longer be able to provide for either because of vast flooding or desertification...

Imagine what it might be like if 9 billion (the projected population by then) people are all scrambling to stake claim to a few select and prime habitable areas on the planet.

Really? 9 billion people?

So, apparently 3 billion more people will be living on the planet by 2099? Given all the current environmental pollution problems, potential pandemics, economic concerns and potential food shortages, what makes the mis-informed author of this piece think that there might actually be 9 billion human beings on the planet in 90 years?

I read the book Beyond Beef many years ago and am well aware of how grotesque the whole cattle industry is.

But come on! If I want a piece of fried chicken and have a nice plump hen in my backyard, you can hardly accuse me of destroying the planet.

Maybe the poor authors blood sugar was low. Vegetarianism does that.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

The World According to Monsanto

While the monkey was taking a nap this morning, I decided to rot my brain by watching some television. Given that I am quite the intellectual...I decided to watch the Sundance channel.

And to my surprise and enjoyment, there was a very interesting documentary on Monsanto that was created by a french woman. So given my recent rant about the French, I feel a retraction is in order.

I now only despise french men.

I've included a link to entire film below in the event any of you have a spare hour and 45 minutes to kill and are curious about how one of the largest BioTech companies in the world is slowing taking over the food supply.

Linky link!

Suffice it to say, I was very, very, very glad to discover today that my garden holds multiple sprouts of an heirloom corn variety. It is very nice to know that I am doing my part to undermine Monsanto and their ilk!

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Rude people

So I met my neighbor this weekend and discovered that he was the owner of a French pastry shop! How excited was I? Turns out that he is the proprietor of a place called Le Zodiac here in town, a place I have wanted to try for a very long time.

Excited about going, my mother, son and I bundled ourselves into the car and headed over to what we hoped would be a lovely French cafe with fabulous coffee and delicious pastries.

What we found reminded me of why I hate France. The proprietor (NOT my neighbor thankfully) was the biggest fucking dick of a French fuck I have every had the displeasure of interacting with.

The web site I linked above stated that the hours for the place where from 7 to 3:30. When we arrived at 2 and saw that the place was in the process of being shut down, I mentioned to the frog fucker that the web site said the place was open until 3:30.

His response was "And I am saying 2:30." But it wasn't just what he said, it was how he said it. As though I was not only beneath his notice, but also disgusting and repugnant at the same time. And I will absolutely discuss his horrible attitude with my neighbor the next chance I get. I'm all for supporting local businesses, but not if they treat me like something they wiped off their shoe.

Gives me half a mind to sick Gordon Ramsey on the place.

While the pastry was fabulous, I'd rather have sex with a dog than go back while that arrogant ass is working the counter. Just who the hell does he think he is, anyway?

I mean really, what the hell have the french invented aside from choux pastry that is really worth talking about?

(As it turns out, quite a lot.)

Monday, May 11, 2009

PMD - Post Mother's Day

So here it is, the Monday after Mother's Day, and I am enjoying my tea and preparing to finish planting the garden.

I have actually been a little thoughtful this mother's day, thinking about the concepts of nurturing and nourishment. As I planted my garden yesterday morning, my plan for mother's day for some time now, I realized that motherhood is about so much more than just parenting.

My whole attitude has shifted since I became a mother. And while I certainly spend much of my time parenting, the concepts of mother as a nurturing, loving, warm, protector have really moved into the forefront of my thinking recently.

The garden is just one expression of this energy in my life. The desire to grow my own food, protect and nurture plant life, and generally put my energy into helping something grow is a very new thing for me. I am enjoying it very much.

As I look at my son and realize that he is quickly moving out of the baby stage and into full blown toddler-hood, I think it is important for me to focus on the larger picture of motherhood. Rather than thinking about the specifics of parenting and the daily slog of diapers, baths, and food preparation, I find myself really taking a look at how I can provide my son with the same kind of support and nourishment that I will provide my garden. Both need constant attention to grow, and both need a certain level of independence in order to fulfill their potential.

My son is mine to protect and care for, nurture and nourish, love and hold, and someday, let go. It's a sobering thought, and makes much of my day bittersweet. But oh, how good it is now when the little man gives me a hug and sits on my lap!

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Bad Day

Every fucking thing is fucking fucked.

So fuck!

Things I hate today:

vegan parents - Idiots...
poor communication skills
feral cats
general stupidity
cell phones
not being pampered
apricot scones

I need some fucking coffee, but I can't fucking have any because I'll get fucking mastitis.


Thursday, May 7, 2009

Horse Shit!

I say horse shit!

All over my yard and in my shoes!

Well, okay, it isn't actually in my shoes but for some reason I like the way that sounds...

An entire load of horse manure was dropped in my garden space today by the father of my child and tomorrow it will be tilled into the soil and planting will begin! I already have a lovely pair of gardening shoes in which to work. I would show you all a picture, but apparently there aren't any. I bought shoes that no longer exist.

So my mother's day will be spent shoveling shit and planting seeds and generally getting so sunburned I won't be able to move the next day. Very exciting stuff, if I do say so myself. I am really excited about having a garden this year, as it is the first time I have ever undertaken such a venture.

We will be planting corn and beans and carrots and turnips and potatoes and chilis and tomatoes..the list goes on ad nauseum. We also purchased several fruit trees and while they will not yield any fruit this year, the established trees will and already are showing signs of delicious-ness.

There is something very satisfying about growing your own food, and I have been looking at our seeds and our plots and literally deducting the food costs in my head. Now all I need is a canner and we can be set for the whole year! Oh, and I need some goats and a place to grow oats...

Aside from that we're almost totally self sufficient! Er, well except for the electricity and the city water... >.>


Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Stupid phone bill *shakes fist*

So here I am again in a situation where the damn cell phone bill is overdue, they want to turn off my service, and I have no money.

One might ask why I actually have a cell phone if I can't afford to pay the bill and never use it. I frequently ask myself the same question!

Luckily, however, AT&T is quite understanding and has yet to disconnect me.

The key it seems to is to call them, explain that you are dirt poor, and then tell them that you want to set up a payment plan and work on getting them their money.

I don't know if it is the economic situation that currently exists, or if it is just that I am suddenly acting and sounding more responsible, but the folks on the other end of the phone seem to be much more willing to work with me these days when it comes to money issues.

As a result I will continue to be a happy costumer of AT&T and will continue to use my silly little cell phone to call...well no one.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Cat House

No, I am not referring to a place to find loose women.

While perusing the interwebs this morning, I came across a rather interesting site. My 15 m/o little boy loves his "maos" (i.e., cats) and frequently request that we look at pictures of them on line. So, while we were doing that, I discovered a video documentary of a place called "The Cat House on the Kings".

This is a no-kill rescue ranch for cats - I think they house something like 700. The woman who runs the place has 6 acres and a serious love for all things feline. Apparently she has feeding stations placed around the property and cat doors in every room, so the animals are allowed to come and go as they please. All of her cats are up for adoption and in the event that one doesn't get adopted, it is allowed a permanent home at her ranch.

Apparently not all crazy cat ladies are actually nuts! It give me hope for myself.

Here is a link to her facility, and the video documentary I found.

The Cat House on the Kings

Monday, May 4, 2009

Welcome to my country!

So here we are again, blogging.

Rather than setting up a blog for a specific event or activity in my life, I thought it was about time I set up a blog. Where-in I can rant and rave about any ole' thing rather than feeling obligated to stick to a particular "topic" - we all know how hard that is when you have ADD! Especially when your ADD manifests as a 15 month old, toe-headed little boy who requires a remarkable amount of attention.

Crazy kid.

Speaking of, I've become a bit of a parenting nazi and as a result, may alienate all my nice, new friends. Why don't parents pay more attention? What is it about a large park and a "playdate" that makes pregnant women think they can let their two and three year olds run amok and push other, smaller, MY children, over? I realize that being nine months pregnant takes it out of you, but whatever happened to paying attention to your children?

Apparently it has totally gone out of fashion.

Suffice it to say, I scared the bejesus out of a little boy who felt it necessary to exert his superiority over my little angel. The poor kid spent the rest of the playdate circling the soccer field and hiding from me. Which, frankly, was my intention. The little shit is lucky I didn't slap him upside the head.

Child abuse is totally wrong unless they hit your kid first.

Luckily for me, the baby daddy is in total agreement so I won't be the only one alienating all the nice stay at home moms (SAHM's for those of you out of the loop) who are clearly more interested in discussing fashion and home renovation projects than actually watching their kids. In fact, the baby daddy was disappointed that the little bully's father wasn't around so they could play a grown up version of the playground antics that got us here in the first place.

I love men!

At least if I'm the only one watching my kid, none of the other moms will see my pop their little devils one.